I wish I could wake up and realize the world had played a big fat bad joke on me! To see my marriage through the eyes of a young woman with the whole world on her side. Happy. Truly happy. Not jaded by pain and heartbreak. Sorrow. Grief. Despair.
Today I chose to live. I decided to wash my hair. To check the mail. Read the paper. Watch the news. To breath, even if for just one minute. I almost saw me again. I laughed out loud before I tried to suck the laughter back into my mouth so that the world didn't think I was ok and dish out more pain to me.
Once again I found myself slipping into my own despair. I washed my face, read a poem that I love and took on the day. I won today. I WON. And I was allowed to be ME. Jina. Not Grace's destraught mother, not Rudy's wife, but JINA. I can't promise tomorrow. I can't even promise 10 minutes. But I have right now. And I am grateful!
Thank you for still coming to support me. I do read it and I do care! Thank you so much!
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7 comments:
I'm so glad your day went well. I've learned that taking it one day at a time, or even one breath at a time can make all the diffrence. hang in there.
((hugs))
"I won today. I WON. And I was allowed to be ME. Jina. Not Grace's destraught mother, not Rudy's wife, but JINA. I can't promise tomorrow. I can't even promise 10 minutes. But I have right now. And I am grateful!"
Absolutely beautiful!! Congratulations on the right now.
Love and hugs to you!!
I am glad you felt better. I hope today is a good day too, **HUG**
Would you be ok with me mentioning you on my blog? I would just use your blog name, and only link to you if it's ok. Could you email me and let me know? snarkybelle@comcast.net
If you don't want me to, of course it's perfectly ok! I am just working on a post about the support and strength I have found through blogging. Thanks!
Good for you. Those days when we can just wake up, shower and face the day are sometimes few and far between. Hugs to you!
You are amazing too. =)
It is so hard for people to understand that that one day to you meant so much, I am proud of you! The road winds and the hills seem impossible to climb, you had courage this day and that in its own, expressing it, is beauty in its own light!
<3 Naomilee
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