Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Political blog ahead.....last one..?

I got really frustrated yesterday after reading an article about the most recent socialistic idiocy bestowed upon us by our current administration. The essence of the article was that a lot of people are upset that the EPA deemed some of their "clunkers" unworthy of the "cash for clunkers" program because they get better gas mileage than previously thought, and now these parasites won't get their "free money" from the program.

The problem here is that these morons can't comprehend the fact that the money IS NOT FREE. This is borrowed money which is increasing our national debt to incredible proportions.

Quick economics lesson:
For the most part, the "debt" is borrowed from China and other foreign countries. Not directly, as in "Hey China, loan us a couple billion". But, we print money we don't really have, so we can pay for junk we don't really need, i.e., cash for clunkers, etc. Then, to cover it, we borrow from other countries in the form of loans based on Treasury Bonds. China & Japan own a MAJOR chunk of our treasury bonds. (If you want a detailed list of Foreign holders of our treasuries, go here.) There are also private investors, insurance companies, pension funds, banks, etc., that the government actually borrows from.

As with any debt, this money has to be paid back. Well guess who pays it back!? That's right. The Tax Payers of this country (those of us who actually WORK and pay TAXES) are responsible for the national debt. There is NO FREE MONEY. Just imagine if ALL of us just sat around with our hands held out waiting for something free, rather than working for it. Where would all the "free money" come from then?!

If you're getting something "for free", somebody paid for it. And, quite frankly, I'm tired of paying someone else's share!!! So, yeah, major frustration upon reading that article. Nothing is free!!!!

Friday, July 24, 2009

Political blog ahead

Protest Obama's Health Care Reform

If WE, the Citzens of the United States of America do not stand up and make OUR voices heard, we are going to fall into a huge trap we can never dig our way out of!!

If Mr. Obama has his way with what he is calling "reform" of our "health care" system, you will LOSE!! With a $1.3 trillion price tag for only 10 years, how can we afford this type of "reform"?

Among other things, the bill establishes a new government-run health care plan and new federal insurance rules and regulations that will ultimately change the coverage YOU have today – whether you like it or not. Further, for the first time in America’s history, the bill allows for taxpayer-funded abortions. No matter how you feel about the issue itself, it certainly should not be funded by tax dollars!!!

Read what you should know about the Kennedy Health Bill.

Here is what you have to look forward to if YOU do not stand up and make your voice heard!

* You will LOSE your right to choose the best level of care for yourself;
* You will LOSE the right to decide if a procedure is needed or not - the government will decide for you;
* You will LOSE the right to choose which doctors provide your care;
* Every city in every state will LOSE good doctors who will refuse to work in such a system that dictates a poor standard of care for their patients - they will retire rather than "do harm";
* You may even lose your JOB if your employer is taxed beyond a level they can bear, just to pay for this socialized medicine program.
* If you lose your employer funded coverage through loss of employment or for any other reason (the government plan runs private insurers out of business) you will LOSE YOUR RIGHT to buy into a private plan, and in fact, will be REQUIRED to take the government plan;
* You will LOSE further tax dollars from your income to pay for this "reform".
* Once the system is in place, you will forever LOSE your right to do anything about it...socialism will be the rule of the day and we will be one step closer to an America no patriotic American ever wants to see!


I WILL BE HEARD! I HOPE YOU WILL TOO!!! The current health care "overhaul" bill proposed by the Democrats comes with a price tag of well over 1 TRILLION dollars! Call your local politicians and let them know that socialized health care and tax increases are not the answer. DO IT NOW...TIME IS RUNNING OUT...The administration is trying to RUSH this and have it passed by this August! That's hardly enough time for anything rational to happen!! PLEASE MAKE A DIFFERENCE!!! STAND AND BE HEARD!!!

Never in a million years

I never ever ever thought I would say this. I hate my husband right now. After all these years being married, now divorcing, I hate him. He is so insensitive. Where did this asshole come from??? This is not the man that sat at our daughter's NICU bed crying. This is not the man that said forever! This man is not who I married. With that being said, neither am I. But for the love of Pete SHUT THE HELL UP! Stop telling me when to move on. When to cry when to get on with my life! I will clipity clopity as long as I want!

Thursday, July 23, 2009

Clipity clopity

I remember when we bought our house. The smell of new paint and fresh flowers. I was so in love. I loved every single inch of my house. It would be filled with laughter from family and friends and of course our children. We had it all planned out. One boy one girl, fenced yard, two dogs and a fish. I don't know why the fish but I always saw the big fish tank with a little fish ;)

The day I found out I was expecting our first child I remember the horror I felt when I realized one silly thing I had not thought about before. Our floors. The were so beautiful! So easy to maintain....and so cold and hard. I had hardwood through out my house. What would our baby crawl on? Certainly nothing short of the finest silk.....ok maybe not silk but soft plushy carpet! This was a problem. My husband loved the floors as did I, until I realized how silly it had been to expect my baby to crawl on them. So we decided we would carpet the baby room and one of our living rooms.

If you fast forward to today, the rooms are carpeted, the house is still. There is no laughter, no crawling baby, no more family unit. I walk through the halls with my heels on...clipity clopity, clipity clopity.....all the way to the room that was to be filled with baby wipes, powder, pictures and sleepless nights. Well this room is full of so much more, so much less. It has memories of me rocking myself to sleep, tears burning my cheeks. Arms wrapped tightly around my body as if I could squeeze the air out of me. I wanted to stop breathing. I wanted to be with her. I needed to be with her. I was alone. Only the sound of my clipity clopity through the house reminds me there still lives a very lonely soul. I remember telling my husband "R, I need you. I need you so bad it hurts me." The saddest part, I didn't. I didn't even realize the magnitude of my words. That some how the world would show me the difference between needing something and wanting something. I need Her. I NEEEEED my daughter. I know that I won't die. Not really. It will just feel like I want to die. But I don't. I just want her. I WANT HER! I smell her blankets. Her little ribbon that I put on her head to show she was a girl. Her poor little face so swollen from the steroids. She looked like a fat old lady! She was amazing to look at. OMG the little fighter. She was my Ali. I called her that. When she had enough of the poking she would pull her chubby little foot away and just be difficult at best! She did me proud. She did us all proud! This world lost a good one that day. She was one of the good guys. And now all I can do is try to tip toe into her room, as is if I am trying to sneak up on her memory, so as to not disturb it....just to sit with her one more time. Until I hold her again....clipty clopity down the hall to sit on her carpet and remember the little girl that was supposed to learn to crawl there.......OX

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Tearful days

My house is lonely and quiet. I feel that same on the inside as I do in my house. I can walk through the hardwood floors and listen closely and hear myself, echoing as if another is behind me. I like to pretend it is Grace. Sad I know but there are times this is the only way I will feel better, at least for that moment in time. Then I catch sight of her room, or her picture and I remember I am alone. Rudy is gone now, so are all of his things. I miss us. Not the us we had become but the us we were before death knocked at our door. I miss my baby girl. I really just miss life before I had to realize death came along when you didn't want a visitor!