Saturday, January 17, 2009

And it's been awhile-Staind

And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I first saw you
And it's been awhile
Since I could stand on my own two feet again
And it's been awhile
Since I could call you

And everything I can't remember
As f*d up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've stretched myself beyond my means

And it's been awhile
Since I can say that I wasn't addicted
And it's been awhile
Since I can say I love myself as well
And it's been awhile
Since I've gone and f*ed things up just like I always do
And it's been awhile
But all that shit seems to disappear when I'm with you

And everything I can't remember
As f*d up as it all may seem
The consequences that I've rendered
I've gone and f*d things up again

Why must I feel this way?
Just make this go away
Just one more peaceful day!

And it's been awhile
Since I could look at myself straight
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry
And it's been awhile
Since I've seen the way the candle lights your face
And it's been awhile
But I can still remember just the way you taste

And everything I can't remember
As f*d up as it all may seem to be I know it's me
I cannot blame this on my father
He did the best he could for me

And it's been awhile
Since I could hold my head up high
And it's been awhile
Since I said I'm sorry


****************************I added this because it makes me feel something*****

2 comments:

Snarky Belle said...

This is one of my all time favorite songs...it is one of the most played on my iPod.
You have great taste in music Mamma! :)

Snarky Belle said...

So sorry, it's me again.
I just left this comment for CA is calling and wanted to share it with you as well. I hope you don't mind.

I have not been able to get you or MamaWarrior off my mind, since reading this post. I can't express to you enough that I felt the same...you could ask my family, they would tell you it's true.

There were days I would think about the best way to end my life, which way would be least traumatic for my husband when he came home from work and found me..these are the things I pondered.

My heart sincerely aches for you, I have shed tears over you, sorrow because of the pain you feel.
I am sure this won't be helpful, but just in case...here is the link to something I posted last September, the week before my daughter's 12th birthday. I wrote the poem 4 years after I lost her. I am sending this to MammaWarrior also.

http://snarky-belle.blogspot.com/2008/09/some-things-change-some-things-never.html