Sunday, January 25, 2009

An ER trip

I knew I should not have gotten too excited! I started spotting last night. I was feeling like a really bad cycle, bad cramps but not a heavy flow. Well, DH was drug out of bed very early and we headed to the closest ER. They told us my body is trying to abort the pregnancy. OMG I don't remember anything they said after that. The pulled the ultrasound machine out and little baby had a heartbeat. I am 6 weeks along. I had no idea! I had goose bumps on top of my goose bumps. BUT I am still in danger of losing this baby before I even had the chance to say hello.
One thing did change, I am very much in love with the baby. The fear made me realize that I would be so devastated if I lost him/her. It also made me realize I am afraid. More than I thought.

Calling california has become my closest friend. I feel like I crushed her spirit. I know she is happy for me but I could hear her pain. Feel the sadness. I am so sorry! Not because I am pg but because you are not! It seems so unfair! I am praying for you! And I love and adore you. Sending you love from across the miles!!

8 comments:

Snarky Belle said...

I wish I could take all of the fear away, but because that isn't possible, please just know you are in all of my thoughts and prayers. You are brave and courageous!
All my love, Nat.

Reba said...

I hope everything turns out okay. I talked about that awful fear in my last reply...well, this is what I meant :( I am so sorry you have to know this fear. But yes, the fear makes your love for the new baby growing in there even stronger.

-clevergirl said...

What happened!? Do you have a UTI? I had a terrible one with Ashlyn and my body was trying to abort the pregnancy because of it. **HUGS** You have not crushed my spirit, I am just trying to put things into perspective right now and I am finding it hard to face life with all of the pain. I LOVE the name you picked out for your baby if it's a girl. **HUGS** You are so sweet and such a good friend, please rest and update me about your baby, I am so worried!

Snarky Belle said...

Just thinking of you and praying you are okay.

-clevergirl said...

I love you too girl! Everything will be ok! **HUG**

-clevergirl said...

I need to give you my email address, it's bookwormmay2004@hotmail.com. Please email me when you feel up to it. **HUG** I am so sorry this happened.

Snarky Belle said...

Thinking of you. Sending much love and many hugs.

Mandy said...

Just wanted you to know my thoughts and prayers are with you, I'm also 6 weeks along right now, and soo soo scared. everyday is a mile stone.
*hugs*