Seems only fitting

Well I guess today is the day I stop hiding and look out into the world. My daughter died. I said it. I don't know why I can't say that. Maybe it is so unnatural that my tongue refuses to let those words fall out of my mouth. She died. She is never coming home.

I am not sure this blog spot will ever be fit for human consumption. Probably vial to the world that has not experienced the death of a child. How could you ever explain this? The feelings that whirl around and whip you in the emotional gonads? Wow who wants that? Not me, I didn't sign up for this. However everyday I feel like I get emotionally abused. The pictures of me before she was born too soon, the wedding before we even thought we would have children. The pregnancy test that screamed YES YES YES! You shall be a mother. Freeze frame. Stop the movie from going to the next frame.

How can this be? She is not ready to be born yet. She is too little, she needs me too much. I need to feel her safe within my womb. Water rushing, ambulance, police, fireman..wait! Please don't take her!
March 21,2008 my beautiful baby girl was born!