I am trying to decide what to say and when to say it. Anger come so quickly that I have to actually think about being gentle. Then I see this beautiful photo of my daughter and all the gentle rushes in.
I can see the pain in my eyes and the love in my heart. I am reaching for that again. The love of my life, laying with alarms and tubes and then I see him, her father. And the [ain looks like mine. It looks as deep as mine. I love him as I watch him love her, endless, deep, wide, eternal. Why can't we have it all? Why must we kiss her goodbye? Why must I watch my heart shred as the world closes this life. Her life is here with us. OUR GOD, the ONE I always believed in has made a choice I do not understand. Now I stand at her crib. Her pillow soaked with tears. Not from a child that is crying from hunger at 2AM but of a mother crying of hunger, hunger for the love and warms of her child. Just one more moment! I am begging you. I was breathing for her, now I will die for her. This is injustice!
5 comments:
I probably have no right to be here because I stumbled onto your blog, a stranger am I to you.
I just want to say I'm sorry for the loss of your little girl. She was a precious little angel and it is horrible that she died.
I'm sorry.
OHMYGOSH, I know I am probably bugging you way too much lately (I am not a stalker don't worry!) but those pictures are the most beautiful and touching I have ever seen. Her little toes and seeing you look at her like that, gosh I am going to cry again! I wish she was here in your arms! Those pictures are just too beautiful for words! Your daughter has a special place in my heart!
Thank you for coming to my blog.
I am humbled.
Your beautiful daughter was a little fighter. I am so sorry that she is not with you today. There are no words to explain the pain that never goes away from missing our babies.
LOL, it's been a busy weekend, no time for stalking! LOL I stupidly told my neighbor about my blog (although I don't think she rememebers the link because she was waaaaaay drunk) because she is nosy and now I can't talk about her anymore. =( I am sad because I can't stand her and would love to gossip about her and her fiance. Oh well, I will find a way to talk about her! LOL I hope your weekend was ok! **BIG HUG**
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